Pay Raise

Costco Coolguy said...

What is the best way to get a $0.25 raise when you work for a retail store?

A: I'm Glad you asked me Costco Coolguy, if that is your real name, you did the right thing by coming to me first.

Twenty-five cents is nothing to sneeze at and your stiff-shirt crotchety old employer is well aware of this. He or she is probably intelligent enough or at least has the gumption to know that the less his employee makes the more money goes into their illegal embezzling hedge fund in the Cayman Islands. You are going to have to trick them into giving you this raise you seek. Let me make some suggestions. First at strategically strategic times throughout your work day, say things like, "Hey man you got a dolla?" followed by "bro you know I'm good fo it!" If you do this enough at the right times to the right people you will become more wealthy than Hitler and Stalin combined and twice as popular! Finding loose change is another raise that you can give yourself! Try to find at least twenty-five cents every hour (in pennies, nickles, dimes or your good old fashioned steel-Washington. Dollar bills are a good source of income but I would watch out with those as the dollar is loosing value quickly on the global market. Maybe you should just stick with pennies.

I hope this has been enlightening for you as much as it was for me.

Thriftily yours,
Wally